G.I. Joe – Page 29 – European Joe's

Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?

I guess I could start this post off with a bad joke like “How many Tele-Vipers does Cobra Commander need to make his troops retreat? “. Nowadays he’d use 140 characters, but I covered that in last week’s post ?

This time around, we will discuss the Impel Trading Card #33, the Cobra Tele-Viper (or Televiper?), Cobra´s force of Radio Communication Officers.

The Joe team have 2 Communication Specialists, Breaker and Dial-Tone. Cobra has like hundreds of Televipers to transmit messages on all frequencies. Of course, Cobra Commander has been known for hijacking the various TV channels all over the world and divulge on his current plan or ask for ransom demands. I guess he would need an army of technicians and hackers to get this done.

For what the toys are concerned, 9 iterations of the Televiper have been released. Of these 9, 2 were Python Patrol editions. The original 1985 version is still the coolest if you ask me. Just look at that Cobra belt buckle and tell me you´re not impressed. I dare you! I´m not much of an army builder, I´m more of a gotta catch them all collector, but I must admit that I don´t have a lot of Televipers in my collection.

I´m sure the Tele-Vipers are present in the cartoons, I just can´t remember them being there. They are not the most memorable foes, to be honest. They are what they are, technicians working behind the scenes and making sure that every single one of Cobra Commander´s rants gets onto the air for everyone to enjoy. I do remember seeing them in one of my favourite episodes. It´s an episode I have on VHS (in Dutch) and I believe the English title is In the Presence of my Enemy. Slip-Stream (my all time favourite pilot, who the F is Ace anyway?) crashes onto an abandoned Cobra research facility with a female Strato-Viper and they encounter several traps and they have to work together in order for them to escape. Anyway, in the beginning of the episode, the Tele-Vipers send out a message to one of Cobra´s satellites and Slip-Stream intercepts it.

All in all, not the most memorable Cobra out there, but they are important none the less. Without them, nobody would know about Cobra Commander´s mad schemes and plans to conquer the world. Not until Twitter was available that is 🙂

Next time, we go out with a BANG when we discuss a hockey analyst?! Who comes up with these? Oh, right, Larry Hama (who is a GOD!). Have you seen the Kickstarter campaign for the Larry Hama Action Figure? Too late to enter now, but I´ll post about it when I have the figure in hand 🙂 (Admit it, you´re jealous!)

Until next time. Happy Collecting and YoJoe!

All rise and bow for your leader!

I know you can’t rise and bow at the same time, but you really should to pay respects to the greatest charismatic leader of all time. True story. Ladies and gentlemen, the Impel Trading Card #32 features the astute leader Donald Trump… Seriously, we don’t know Cobra Commander’s real name, so it could be true.

Continuing on the Trump resemblance, he too had a brother that died through alcohol addiction (Fred – Crimson Guardsmen series link!). He too is a bit strange and not connected to the real world. He too wants power and respect but is genuinely incapable as a leader. I could go on, but I don’t want to give him any more credit than he deserves. He isn’t half the bad guy genius CC is 🙂

Cobra Commander has been in the comics since Issue #1 way back in 1982 where he kidnapped Dr. Adele Burkhart. Since then, every single one of his schemes has been thwarted by the Joes – or his own underachieving minions. Later on in the Marvel run, we learn small tit-bits about the Commander’s past, but we never get the full story. Who is the man behind the mask? What was his life like before Dan was killed in the car crash that connected CC with Snake Eyes?

There is no doubt that he is a bad guy. He’s psychopathic, murderous, plain evil. But still, on some level, I can sympathize with him. He was living the American Dream but lost everything without being able to control the events that lead up to his breakdown. He blamed the government, the Big Money, the Corporations. Not to go all psychologist on you, but for some people, blaming others is easier than admitting to their own flaws and failures(or those of their loved ones). And when sh*t things happen you can’t control, who’s there to blame? Maybe history is repeating itself. Maybe Cobra is being (re-)founded as you are reading this.

In any case, let me get back on track here with the Cobra Commander figures that have been released over the years. Can you believe that 54 iterations of the man exist? My all-time favorite still is the first version in Cobra blue and with the battle helmet. He is still awol from my collection, though I have several later versions with the battle helmet.

My very first one was the 1984 v2 mail-in version. We had the Belgian fan club over here and they also organized the mail-ins. I’ll have to dig through some of my old papers that are still at my parents’ house, but I’m pretty sure I still have my membership card. I didn’t really like the hooded version. He seemed to skinny to be a good leader (now with CC that’s debatable of course). Next, I have the v4, with the reddish semi see-through helmet visor. Great looking figure with bright colors worthy of the glorious leader CC is. I liked that you could almost see who was behind the mask. I remember having the 12″ version of the Commander as well. He came with a removable hood and underneath was a bad-ass looking head sculpt, but also with half of his face still hidden behind bandana tied over his mouth and nose… I guess we will never see the real face of the Commander. Unless this is really it…

Next, I have the v4, with the reddish semi see-through helmet visor. Great looking figure with bright colors worthy of the glorious leader CC is. I liked that you could almost see who was behind the mask. I remember having the 12″ version of the Commander as well. He came with a removable hood and underneath was a bad-ass looking head sculpt, but also with half of his face still hidden behind bandana tied over his mouth and nose… I guess we will never see the real face of the Commander.

In the Sunbow cartoons, you can clearly see that CC is human, but there is one episode in which he is eating without the mask and Destro walks in on him and is repulsed by what he sees. There is no explanation given, but maybe they blended Snake Eyes’ deformities with CC or was this already setting us up for Cobra-La? Who knows.

Let me get this out of my system right now. As a movie, I like G.I.Joe the movie. As to the story and the whole Cobra-La thing, no thank you. I mean, the stories Larry Hama wrote as background for Cobra Commander and the Joes, are good. No not good, great, better than great, they are Literature people. That’s right, with capital L. Why would you want to change that and give us something like Cobra-La instead? Same goes for the live-action movies of late. They are not bad action films (I’ll let you decide if that means they’re good), but they are NOT G.I.Joe. I don’t think it would have been that hard to translate the whole Hamaverse into a more current setting. Iraq or Afghanistan instead of Vietnam, a megalomaniac entrepreneur instead of a used car salesman (oh, there’s the D again). And lasers, definitely lasers 🙂

Now back to G.I.Joe (tune).

The DIC cartoons take place after the story of the movie and we get CC back as (sort of) a human after the Baroness frees him from the life of being Serpentor’s pet. He then creates the Python Patrol (how many snake references can there still be made?) and takes Cobra back from Serpentor who gets turned into an iguana (is this G.I. Joe or Dora the Explorer?). Anyway, Cobra later joins forces with the Joes in battling against Headman and play a football match somehow… Who wrote these things anyway? Probably someone from Headman’s followers.

In the Renegades series, CC is an evil businessman (sounds familiar?) and Cobra is somewhat legit. Naturally, the man behind the unmasked man is a masked and disfigured madman, so Cobra Industries is just the bad guys we love to see. As with the movies, I don’t see this series as canon within the Hamaverse, but as far as stories go, I like it a lot.

Well, that’s it for now. I’m glad I finally found the time to finish this, I have had this as a draft for weeks. Over a thousand words, sorry if I dragged it on too long, but it’s CC, he likes being talked about.

Next time, we’ll take a look at the … hold on, I’m getting a call. I’ll get back to you.

Happy collecting and YoJoe!

Time for some Jambalaya.

If you read the previous post, you’ll have figured out that this week’s Impel Trading Card is Etienne LaFitte, G.I. Joe’s resident Cajun U.S. Marine better known as Gung-Ho.

In total there have been 21 figures of Gung-Ho released. Only five of these depict him with his bare chest and U.S. Marine tattoo (in various sizes and colours). There is one shirt wearing Gung-Ho figure that shows the tattoo is a rather deep man-cleavage shirt. Off course, most people will remember him as the bare-chested Marine, but my favourite figure is the 1987 version in full Dress Suit. More on him in about 31 Impel Trading Cards (the exact double of this card´s #… coincidence, I think not!).

In the comics, Gung-Ho´s first appearance coincides with the introduction of Cobra´s new specialist, everybody´s favourite arms dealer Destro. The Joes are sent to the Alaskan tundra to investigate the presence of Cobra forces. And naturally, in this cold and harsh environment, Gung-Ho is there shirtless. During the whole story, Gung-Ho´s model sister is mentioned when Snow Job tells Rock ´n Roll that he can set up a date for him with her. Neglecting to tell Rock ´n Roll that Gung-Ho´s sister is a child model.

In the original cartoons, Gung-Ho is also depicted in his 1983 look, blueish camo trousers and the open blue vest. He is seen in the intro of the cartoon alongside Duke when they start charging after Stalker landed next to them. In the double episode Captives of Cobra, Cobra tries to get to the Joes by kidnapping their families and holding them hostage. The Baroness is sent into the Bayou to capture Gung-Ho´s family, but they can handle themselves rather well and overpower the Cobra troops.

Next time we will take it to the top of the pyramid before we´ll retreat gracefully.

Happy Collecting and YoJoe!

2017 goals update

Hi all!

No Impel Trading Card update today, but a follow up on my 2017 goals.

2017 has started with us finding a new house to live in. It’s still in the same city, so no drastic relocations, but still, packing and moving everything will take a lot of time. Part of my collection of Joes (most of the ones I had as a kid), I only recently picked up from my parents’ house and are still in boxes, waiting to get sorted, cleaned and displayed or sold if I have extras. All of the ones I bought as an adult collector, will have to be packed along with my Comic Book collection and Trading Cards folders. Not to mention the Kre-O sets that will probably be best of being broken down and put into sealed bags before putting them back in their original boxes. And then we still have all the toys from the kids, clothes, houseware, furniture, the cats, … Save to say, it’ll take some time getting everything sorted, packed, moved and installed back at the new house.

I’ve started working full time this month as well, so I don’t have a lot of spare time left. On my days off, the main focus is my family. Both my daughters are still too small to play with Joes, but I did pass on one of my old 12″ Action Man figures to my oldest daughter to play along with her Barbie dolls 🙂 This is also the elephant in the room… I have 2 daughters and I don’t think they’ll ever be very interested in my Joes. They are real princesses! Don’t get me wrong, I’m really proud of them and love them both very much. I just don’t think they’ll have much interest in G.I. Joe. Maybe I’m thinking to stereotypical, but you can’t deny that Joes are made for boys 🙂 And then I start overthinking again that maybe I’m holding on to my Joe collection because I don’t want to grow up, I want to hold on to being a kid without worries. All of which I can’t of course. I guess I’m struggling with the collector’s existential questions. To collect or not to collect, that’s the question. Let me know what you think on twitter or in the comments below.

Another topic from my 2017 goals was to start writing again on a story I’ve been having in the back of my mind for years but never got around to putting to paper. I’ve been browsing for some writing tools and started on a general outline of the story. I’ve got about half of my prologue ready (sort of, kill your darlings process is always ongoing) and will post something here soon. Keep you coming back for more 🙂

We finally got the first Revolution comics over here, so I need to catch up on my reading as well. No big purchases on the horizon, going to be saving some money to spend on the new house. I’ve started selling some of my Joe toys that I used to scavenge for parts so I could complete a set. If you are interested in some scrap vehicles, still great for completing your own or for customs, I’ll put up a list on the shop page. Just send me a tweet or comment here and we can arrange something.

I guess that’s all for today. I’ll probably post the Impel Trading Card post later this week. I’ll get back to my poundering for now.

Happy Collecting and YoJoe!

Street Closed. Do not enter. Detour.

I’m afraid we may have to take a detour this time around. There appears to be something in the way. Impel Trading Card #30 is Roadblock!

The G.I. Joe’s resident gourmet chef is up this week. Roadblock was introduced in the comics alongside Duke at the funeral of General Flagg. Cobra tries to attack the mourning Joes with the new Rattler plane, but Duke and Roadblock shoot the plane down. Quite the entrance one might say.

In the cartoons, Roadblock is best remembered for being the rhyming cook. His aunt and uncle are introduced in the Red Rocket’s Glare episode, one of the first episodes that come to mind when I think of the cartoons. Roadblock is also featured in 2 of the PSA videos, warning kids about power lines and strangers.

In G.I. Joe The Movie, Roadblock – though being blinded by the Nemesis Enforcer – is the only one able to escape from Cobra-La. He carries a mutating Cobra Commander (I was-s-s-s once a man) on his back who functions as his eyes. When they get found by a Joe search party, Cobra Commander is fully mutated into a snake and slithers away. Roadblock then gets his vision back and leads the Joes to Cobra-La where the end battle takes place.

In Renegades, Roadblock is one of the ‘fugitive’ Joes. This time he is bigger and more driver/mechanic than heavy gunner. He (luckily) doesn’t speak in rhyme, but still likes to cook.

And then there was Retaliation and The Rock… I like to think of the live action movies as slightly better than average Action movies, but not as G.I. Joe movies. Sure they have sort of the same characters (Scarlett and Ripcord, really??), but it’s not canon. Kind of like what they did with the Devil’s Due comics, nice stories, but disavowed.

Over the years, there have been 24 figures released. The first one in 1984 had orange-brown pants and didn’t look too good if you ask me. The 1986 figure, shows the Roadblock figure in his gray pants and green top that is used in the comics and cartoons. In 1988 and 1993, Roadblock was part of the subteams Tiger-Force and Star Brigade. The last 4 figures have been modeled to resemble The Rock and aren’t bad, but as mentioned above, I can’t see them as being reincarnations of an African-American, rhyming cook that can run around with a M2 Browning .50 caliber heavy machine gun.

To end this post, I’ll leave you with the following music video from Stock Aitken Waterman. This song has great vibes and I’d like to think that Larry Hama was listening to this when he created the Roadblock character. Listen for yourself and let me know what you think.

Next time, we’ll need the following ingredients…

Happy Collecting and YoJoe!