gijoe – Page 15 – European Joe's

Might as well…

I get up, and nothing gets me down You got it tough. I’ve seen the toughest around And I know, baby, just how you feel You’ve got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real.

Welcome back! I’ve been recovering from a back injury and haven’t had the time nor longing to write some. But I’m getting better now and so here we are again with a new post.

In the last 2 posts, we tackled the Original Joe team and the 2 Cobra infantry soldiers. This time around we take a look at the 1982 vehicles, displayed on the Impel Trading Cards #54 through #60. As with most of the original figures, I don’t have a lot of these in my collection. Let’s jump right into it, with #54 the J.U.M.P. Jet-pack. The J.U.M.P. Jet-pack, giving your Joes wings since 1982. And probably some very serious burns and loss of legs… I definitely can see the charm of being able to fly to do recon or even attack the enemy. But this just isn’t practical. Not alone the safety issues (these people are professional soldiers, they can handle the heat), but the maximum range is only 10 miles and with a top speed of 210 MPH, this means about 3 minutes of flight time… (I know I’m ignoring acceleration, elevation and well, physics really, but it’s G.I.Joe, they’re above all that). The toy was released in 1982 without a figure – smart marketing if you ask me. That way you should buy multiple Jet-packs for all your Joes 🙂 The next year, Grand-Slam was included in the package. He was depicted with the J.U.M.P. Jet-pack on card #50. The J.U.M.P. Jet-pack was used in the cartoons and the movie. Just wanted to mention this to link to the intro on Youtube again… Gotta love that intro.

Now on to #55, the R.A.M. The box art for the RAM shows a green shirt driving wearing a helmet with a microphone. One might think it was Breaker, but there’s no beard. The card art here shows some beard but then the helmet doesn’t have a microphone. Clearly, any Joe can handle the RAM. In 2008 the RAM was renamed RAM Cycle and was released with Cpl. Breaker together with a Cobra Flight Pod (that’s the official name, I always thought that Trouble Bubble was actually its name) with a Tele-Viper. I don’t know where exactly, but I remember seeing Lady Jaye driving the RAM. So let me leave the RAM with a little homage to that. Next up is #56, the FLAK. The FLAK is actually one of the 1982 toys I have in my collection. I bought a bunch of comics and figures from a fellow collector and to my surprise, a FLAK was included as a gift. It’s the 2008 version, but this one has the same colors as the 1982 original. It’s a realistic looking cannon, that can be manned by any greenshirt. I see it as a base camp toy. A defense weapon that is fixed on a base, ready to shoot at incoming Rattlers or Fangs. The FLAK was renamed F.L.A.K. Cannon in 2009, cause you know, it’s a cannon. People probably didn’t get that at first. In 2013, the Night F.L.A.K. was as part of the Collector’s Club Convention Exclusives. I have to say, it looks good in black. Moving on to #57, the V.A.M.P. In 1984, the V.A.M.P. Mark II was released, just 2 years after the Mark I. The Trading Card goes on about how good the Mark II is but the image clearly shows the Mark I from 1982. The V.A.M.P. was released with Clutch. This is probably one of the most used vehicle designs over the years, but I only have one in my collection and that’s the 2014 Danger at the docks version. Technically you could argue I have 2, question is, is the Tiger Sting a V.A.M.P. or a Stinger? Because of the whole story around the Tiger Force and it using vehicles they “recovered” from Cobra, I’ll go with a Stinger and so I only have one V.A.M.P. Not much more to say, I like the vehicle. It’s one of the more realistic vehicles in the Joe motor pool. I’m gonna have to get more of them, loose that is. #58 gives us the HAL. Ah, the HAL… Very effective if you use it to drop on a big robot. Other than that, not the best of Joe weapons. The HAL was released with Grand-Slam, being the popular figure he is, he was then released with the JUMP jetpack for its second release. Again, a more realistic looking vehicle, but fairly simple and a lot like the FLAK, more a toy to use at your base, not something you want to drag up a flight of castle stairs to use as a lockpick. Only to leave it there when the whole building blows… I guess cost efficiency was not something the Joes brass were thinking about. Moving on to #59, the MMS. G.I. Joe was way ahead of their time, already talking of MMS in 1982, when cell phones weren’t even invented yet. The Mobile Missile System is useful, and sort of realistic – again, this is a constant for the early vehicles. Somehow it just doesn’t seem as attractive a toy as say a VAMP or RAM. It did come with the leader of the gang, Gen. Hawk, so I guess they used that feature to promote this toy. Don’t think they would have sold a lot without the free figure incentive. I’m facing a bit of a dilemma. I like it when toys are somewhat realistic. On the other hand, I do love some of the wacky vehicles the Joe line produced. Vehicles like the MMS here are realistic looking and could even work in real life (probably), but still I’m not looking to add it to my collection. If you happen to have a Cobra BUGG, I’d instantly buy it (at a reasonable price). Mixed feelings. Hard to put to words too. I don’t dislike them and they’ll probably end up in my collection someday, but just when I happen to come across them, I won’t go searching for them. Maybe it’s because I’ve never seen these in stores here, and didn’t see them until I read the comics when I was a teenager. Out of sight, out of mind… But always looking 🙂

The final vehicle for today is without a doubt the most impressive one of the lot, the M.O.B.A.T.
The M.O.B.A.T. is about as real as you can get to an actual military vehicle. On top of that, the toy actually moved on its own. This tank is a BEAST. With a 130mm anti-armor cannon as the primary weapon, secondary weapon is the .50 caliber machine gun with 1,500 rounds of ammunition. The MOBAT is powered by two gas turbine engines (the toy by batteries :-)) and can reach 60mph on an open road and 45mph driving cross-country. It can submerge in water for up to an hour due to retractable snorkels and air-tight hatches.

I really like the M.O.B.A.T. Unfortunately, it’s hard to find over here, but I was lucky to score an Action Force Battle Tank, which is basically the same vehicle, but with a different color scheme. Seriously, just look at how cool this thing is, even in a pretty old commercial, still looks better than 90% of the toy commercials they’re airing now.

Well, that’s all for now. Next time, we’ll go where the people aren’t (according to Ariel that is).

Happy Collecting and YoJoe!

Let there be light!

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait
The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool
Neanderthals developed tools
We built a wall (we built the pyramids)
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries
That all started with the big bang!

Our Cobra specialist featured on the Impel Trading Card #38 is a huge fan of big bangs. I present to you, Firefly, Cobra saboteur.

No one knows Firefly’s true identity, his name or what he looks like. He started working with Cobra since the very beginning of the organization. Firefly was first contacted by Cobra Commander to assassinate Snake-Eyes, who CC blamed for the death of his brother. Firefly soon realized he was no match for Snake-Eyes. Zartan was brought into the fold to deal with it, but because the Hard Master was impersonating Snake-Eyes, the arrow that was meant for him struck the Hard Master instead. Storm Shadow was blamed and thus began the whole Arashikage story arc from ARAH.

Firefly was again involved with the death of another Arashikage Master, the Soft Master. Firefly and Scrap-Iron chased the Soft Master when he arrived in Springfield trying to find the killer of his brother. They launched two missiles at the Soft Master, killing him, Candy, some random (drunk) dude and wounding Billy (CC’s son).

After the real CC returned, he locked most of his insubordinate crew into a landlocked freighter which got buried under the volcano. Firefly escaped by letting B.A.T.’s dig a tunnel. He brainwashed the Red Ninjas – which used to be Arashikage members. Snake-Eyes eventually liberated them and they chased after Firefly looking for vengeance. Firefly was assumed to be death. Firefly does reappear in the Devil’s Due continuity and both the America’s Elite and Reloaded series.

My first memories of the character are from the Special Missions comic #1 in which he aids the Baroness in finding the supposed sunken sub in the Baltic Sea. I had this comic book as a kid, the Dutch translation in TPB, and it was my only Joe comic book back then. Needless to say, I read it a gazillion times.

In the cartoons, Firefly is a side character. This changes in the Sigma Six run, where he actually joins the Joes. Throughout the first half of the second season, it’s hinted that there is a spy with the Joes. Eventually, the spy is revealed to be Firefly, who traps the team and turns them over to Cobra. Lt. Stone attempts to convince him it is not too late to side with the Joes, but Firefly is insulted by the offer. He shaves his head as a sign of his loyalty to Cobra, and after a climatic battle with Lt. Stone, leaves with Cobra Commander.Firefly has another small role in the Resolute movie and is featured in one of the Renegades’ episodes, portrayed as a pyromaniacal arsonist that wears a mask to hide burn scars on his face. He is hired by Cobra to burn down the town of Green Ridge but is thwarted by the Renegade Joes. At the end, his helicopter is seen crashing into a cliff, leaving the viewers wondering whether he actually died or not…

In the live action movie Retaliation, Ray Stevenson portrays Firefly. Stevenson revealed in an interview that Firefly is an ex-Joe. His codename in this version stems from his trademark weapon system, insectoid robot drones which he uses to surreptitiously deliver explosive charges. The character was not supposed to wear his mask, but the actor, who researched the character and became a fan of the original Firefly, lobbied to be shown wearing it in some scenes. While trying to activate a satellite for Cobra Commander he is attacked by Roadblock who causes the drones to explode on Firefly.

There have been 28 renditions of the Firefly character made into action figures. Starting in 1984 with the original gray camouflaged version. Later versions changed his colors to green, light gray, red, purple, blue, black only to return back to the dark gray for the 50th-anniversary edition in 2015, the figure being released with Bazooka and Dusty.

That’s it for now. Next time we go back to the beginning. Something in the lines of the painting below, The Last Suffer by NYC Artist Paul Hecker, but then with good guys 🙂

Happy Collecting and YoJoe!

Open wide!

Hold on to your dentures and prepare to have your minds bent like never before. This post will showcase our beloved orthodontist, evil genius (ahem), proficient in genetics, cloning, engineering and all things science, you name it, he can do it! The Impel Trading Card # 37, presents Dr. Mindbender.

Dr. Mindbender was brought into the Cobra fold to replace the departed Dr. Venom. He introduced us to the B.A.T.s and his 6-pack in Marvel comic # 44. Personally I can’t begin to think what Larry Hama was thinking when he created this figure with a pornstache, monocle, no shirt, suspenders and a purple cape. Would be funny if he based it on his personal dentist. Funny and a bit creepy maybe. During his time with Cobra, he switches side more than once, serving Cobra Commander, Serpentor and even Fred VII. He dies of botulism when he is buried with several other traitors when Cobra Commander (the real deal) rises back to power. Eventually Dr. Mindbender was cloned and served Cobra Commander again.

After Dr. Venom’s demise, a gap within Cobra needed to be filled and I must admit that Dr. Mindbender sure did just that. As Cobras chief scientist, he was crucial to all kinds of wacky schemes Cobra Commander released in the world. He made several additions to the Brainwave Scanner and created the B.A.T.s. His greatest achievement however is the creation of Serpentor, based on the DNA of several of the world’s greatest warriors and a little bit of Storm Shadow baked in him. Together with Destro, he searched and raided the tombs of men like Napoleon, Genghis Khan, Julius Ceasar, count Dracula and some others. I’m sure that it wouldn’t be considered politically correct to have mentioned Hitler, but face it, Dr. Mindbender would have put some of that madman into Serpentor.

The same story is used in the animated series, where Mindbender creates Serpentor because he feels Cobra desperately needs a leader that inspires courage in its troops. Safe to say, Cobra “Retreat” Commander is lacking a bit here.

In Spy Troops, he created new and improved B.A.T.’s and has begun research on the Venom Troopers. When the Cobra base gets destroyed, he loses his research. Said research is rebuilt and in Valor vs Venom, Mindbender turns General Hawk into Venomous Maximus, a creature so powerful he quickly seizes power of Cobra with the help of Overkill. (Rehashing a story I believe this is called…). Venomous Maximus received his own Trading Card in the 2004 Wizards set G.I. Joe vs Cobra (actually he was packed with the DVD/VHS – remember that kids? – and was not sold seperately).

See what I did here, another Trading Card. This series will eventually make it to the blog when I have been able to complete the set. If you can help me get the final missing cards, check out my needs list! Eternal gratitude will be upon thee.

In the Riso of Cobra movie, we get to see Dr. Mindbender with a full set of glasses and a shirt on. He locks himself up in his lab, together with the man who would become Cobra Commander, when the lab is getting bombed. He passes his knowledge to Rex (the brother of the Baroness) and so the whole nano-mites story and Cobra begins. The actor portraying Dr. Mindbender is the same one that played Beni Gabor in The Mummy (the 1999 movie, aka the good one). His character is described as a lying, cheating, obsequious, arrogant, greedy, cunning, cowardly, deceptive, avaricious, sycophantic, manipulative, subservient, and thoroughly unpleasant little man. Perfect for Cobra 🙂

As far as the action figures go, Dr. Mindbender has seen 7 incarnations. The first one from 1986, is the iconic look from the comics. Bare chested with a cape showing the Cobra sigil and monocle. In 1993 (the crazy 90’s), Mindbender got bright yellow pants and a shirt. The 3rd and 4th version from 2002 and 2003 show him with an open shirt and some very serious cleavage. V5 of 2004 teleports the doc into the 21st century, giving him sharp spectacles and a lab coat. Version 6 of 2009 was released as part of the Defense of Cobra Island set and brought the old look of the cape wearing, bare-chested maniac back. And finally, in 2015, the Collector’s Club released an Arctic version of the Doctor, sporting a purple coat with white fur lining.

I was a bit surprised when I noticed that I actually have most of these figures in my collection. I’m only missing the 93 and 09 version. The doc doesn’t come to mind when I think of my favorite characters, but the more I think about it, the more I like the guy. The fact that he is still a character in the comics is great (although technically he is a clone) and he’s still Cobra’s main science guy. Not too shabby for an orthodontist turned crazy.

That’s all for now, join me next time when we take on a classic American space western drama television show… wait that’s not right. Damn you Google! Anyway, until next time!

Happy Collecting and YoJoe!

Foreign Scum!

With a title like that, one might think we’ll talk about the Donald again, but no, this time we take a look at the Impel Trading Card #36 featuring the ever charming Baroness.

I can’t help but notice there is a trend within Cobra to employ a European specialist to do the dirty work. Right from the get-go, we have the Baroness, who is European Aristocracy. Another specialist was introduced in Destro as the arms dealer, but in the first place as just that, a specialist. The Crimson Twins are Corsican Maffia, Major Bludd is an Australian poet who kills (language mostly – occasionally a Green Shirt :-)), the Dreadnoks are Australian too, … Basically, most of the worst people in the Joeverse are foreigners. I’m not saying that it’s racist or that they have come to take the terrorist jobs from the hard working American people. Just stating the obvious. True story!

Now, let’s get back to the lady of the day. Baroness Anastasia Cisarnova or De Cobray, whatever you prefer. We first meet the Baroness in issue #1 of the Marvel ARAH series. She is the one who kidnaps Dr. Adele Burkhart. Later in the issue, she uses her disguising skills to trick the Joes into thinking she is Dr. Burkhart. Inevitably she escapes with Cobra Commander to plot away at another world domination scheme.

While we don’t get a lot of background story on the Baroness, we know she has a strong connection with Destro, even from before he became an active member of Cobra. Later on in the comics, we get to see the history of the Baroness and Snake Eyes. As a young girl, she was confronted with the death of her brother. When she arrives at the scene, the soldier who would become Snake Eyes, had rushed in when he heard the shots. Seeing the soldier with a loaded gun standing over her dead brother, the Baroness assumes he was the killer.

Years later, when she is working for Cobra, she succeeds in kidnapping Snake Eyes when he is recovering from yet another plastic surgery to restore his face. The Baroness even shoots Scarlett, leaving her in a coma. Upon his escape, Snake Eyes speaks for the first (and only) time in the ARAH run, uttering the name of his beloved redhead. Scarlett awakes from her coma and is back her badass self.

The Baroness is featured in both the Sunbow and the DIC cartoon. In the DIC series, she rescues the Commander from a life of being the pet of Serpentor and is able to return him to sort-of human. Destro left her for Zarana (mid-life crisis anyone) but doesn’t need a lot of persuasions to dump the pink haired Dreadnok and return to his beloved Baroness.

My favorite Baroness is the one from Renegades. She is a corporate figure and does PR for the somewhat legit Cobra Industries. At the end of the series (and show 🙁 Will this be the Firefly of Joe fans?), she is sucked into the wormhole that was generated by the destroyed M.A.S.S. device. I just hope she’s fine, wherever she is.

I guess we now should discuss the movie. They turned her blonde! Nuff said. Moving on.

There are a few fans out there that cosplay as Joes or Cobras. A character like the Baroness is very suitable for cosplay. Sexy yet sophisticated, ruthless but pleasing to look at. I’ll leave you to google for some of the cosplay pics available out there on the world wide web. Shout out to @CobraNorth. Let me share you one, miss Leah Burroughs as the sexy Baroness of your dreams – or nightmares…

That’s all for this post (are you even reading this or still looking at the picture above?).

Join me next time when we take on the next card in this series. Hold on to your monocle.

YoJoe and Happy Collecting!

Do you want to build a snowman?

Spring may be in the air, but this week we focus on Cobra’s version of the Winter Soldier. The Impel Trading Card #35 is the Snow Serpent.

The Snow Vipers appear to be a branch of the Cobra Eels. I guess snow is frozen water, so you could argue this is a logical next step for some of the Eels that like to have their asses frozen off.

I personally don’t like the cold, maybe that’s why I don’t have a fondness or any recollection of seeing the Snow Serpents in action. I’m guessing they were introduced in the ARAH comics issue #2 since this takes place in the Arctic. They probably appear in the Special Missions #2, Word of Honor as well when the Joes disable the poison gas left in a glacier stranded WWII bomber in Greenland. But that’s just me guessing, I really need to do more research before writing these posts 🙂

The Action Figure has had 10 iterations released. The one on the Impel Trading Card is sporting the v1 style of 1985 (later reprised in the v7-10). I must say that this is a great look for a cold weather operative. Fur details, ski mask, snow shoes. Grey, white and blue colour scheme. It’s working for me. The 2nd version of the figure, however, was released in the colourful early 90’s and had a lot of yellow. Yellow snow jokes aside, the Joes also had a Tiger Force Blizzard figure that was even brighter yellow. The later figures went back to a more normal colouring and used lots of white, grey and blue again.

As with the comics, I don’t recall seeing the Snow Serpents in the cartoons anywhere. They are probably featured in some episodes, so if you know, let me know and then at least I’ll be halfway through the battle 🙂

Next time we stay close to home with a character we all love to hate with European roots. Stay tuned!

Happy collecting and YoJoe!